The Bitch Boys

We are...the Bitch Boys

this is like a kin network but better

if you are a bitch You. Are. Valid.

coyne, eli, tate, will, donnie, bri, allen, cleo, jesse, & alex


Although Coyne's massive downfall is how willing he is to take a dick up his ass, he is the unspoken 'leader' of the Bitch Boys, or King Bitch. Jude also likes to share this title. Coyne has a tendency to blurt out about his sexual adventures, and about his teeny weenie. This comes from his major twink complex. As does his adoration for all things pink.

Cleo is arguably one of the best people on the planet. Because he is a lipstick gay, he is excellent at makeup. Cleo believes he is mean, but we are all aware this is just a fa├žade as he is amazing and perfect in every way. He is the shadow leader of the Bitch Boys.

William is the baby of the Bitch Boys, despite him not being the youngest. He is your typical blonde hair, round glasses nerd. Will keeps the Bitch Boys who are more prone to drama, that is, Coyne and Cleo, out of trouble. He is simultaneously a baby and a dad. He is dating Alex.

Have you ever heard the word 'Nya?' If so, it was almost certain it was Bri who said it. She only listens to Vocaloid and never shows up in the chat. Despite her borderline Weeaboo taste, we love her anyway.

Tate claims to be pro-life, but dies anyways.

Eli wrote the rest of these testimonials, as he is a very talented writer. We love Eli and cherish him for his work as a part of the Bitch Boys. He is dating Tate, even though he is dead.

Donnie is the least coherent of all the Bitch Boys. We have no idea what she is saying at any given moment. Donnie named herself after Donnie Darko, and then Coyne became kin with Donnie Darko so they will have to fight over the name eventually. She really likes frogs and small things like toothpick clowns.

The most excitable Bitch Boy, Jesse loves Glee and hates God. He is dating Cleo, and together they are evil.

Allen is the most well-functioning and normal Bitch Boy. We all strive to be like him.

Alex is the newest Bitch Boy. He is dating Will, and together they are cute and gay. Alex is like a berry, he is very sweet.